Thoughts of a Duelist
by Lancetheflamesniper
Summary: A look into the mind of a duelist (Hopefully I've done her justice. Rating for mild swearing.)


I don't own Utena. I'm not making any money off this. All this is, is   
  
my first ever Utena fic (and a character study at that) and hopefully   
  
I've done okay in writing it. If not, I'm sure you'll all let me know! ^_^;  
  
Thoughts of a duelist  
  
by  
  
Lance the Flamesniper  
  
I didn't want this. I never wanted this. All I wanted was to   
  
make that jerk Saionji pay. How could he take Wakaba's feelings and  
  
display them in such a demeaning way. All I wanted was to avenge   
  
my friend's honor. Even if she keeps calling me her boyfriend. I don't   
  
really mind that though. After all I am trying to become a prince.  
  
I beat Saionji but if I'd known what winning meant I would have   
  
just thrown the fight. Beating him meant others coming at me, after   
  
HER. These people and thier "End of the World". Well it would be   
  
easy enough. Saionji challeneged me again and I planned to throw this   
  
fight. Simple as pie Right?   
  
Wrong. Somewhere along the way I decided to win, or it was   
  
decided for me. I'm not really sure on that one. I think in a way it's   
  
some kind of weird stubborn streak mixed in with the power to   
  
revolutionize the world. So far I'm the only one who can use this.   
  
There's something to be said About Saionji though. Even though he's   
  
seemingly gone nuts lately, he's been quite determined to get Anthy   
  
back.  
  
Anthy's a strange sort. No matter what happens she is always   
  
cheerfully innocent, almost oblivious. At first I didn't want her around.   
  
After all I'm a woman, I don't need a "bride". Rose or otherwise. I'm   
  
trying to be a prince dammit! Not a groom. But then I realized something.   
  
Anthy has very few friends. Next thing I knew I found myself getting   
  
attached to her. I hate the idea of the Rose Bride. It seems too much like   
  
slavery. Add to that that Anthy didn't seem to have much of a will and,   
  
well, you get the idea. Though lately I have been noticing her getting a   
  
little more of a personality thankfully.  
  
Next came Miki. Miki's actually a nice sort. He's got a HUGE   
  
crush on Anthy, but the poor boy will never admit to it. He's a genius   
  
when it comes to school work, fencing and the piano. Though that   
  
stopwatch of his does get on my nerves. Miki's got a twin sister Kozue   
  
while Miki's always friendly, even when we duel, Kozue sometimes acts   
  
like a real tramp. Add to that the fact that she's got fairly loose morals,   
  
you come up with a person it's hard to get along with. I've faced Miki   
  
twice for the "Rose Bride". I kinda hope we never have to face each   
  
other again, at the rate he keeps improving I might evenutally lose to him.  
  
Then there's Juri. There's not much I can say about her.   
  
Something happened in her past that caused her to lose faith. Having lost  
  
both my parents I suppose I could relate there. Still I think if we got to   
  
talking we could be good friends. After all she did loan me a sword for my   
  
rematch with Touga. Maybe we could help each other believe in miracles   
  
again.  
  
Speaking of miracles reminds me of whatever miracle grants me   
  
the patients to not strangle Nanami. For whatever reasons she despises   
  
both me and Anthy. She is forever plotting ways to humiliate Anthy or   
  
make me look bad. When she came to battle me it wasn't over the Rose   
  
bride, a point she made clear when after I beat her she decided to try to   
  
slice me to ribbons with her dagger. Aside from besting her in a duel I   
  
can't really think of anything that I did to her to make her hate me. Though   
  
I suspect that all her dislike of us comes from her fixation on her big   
  
brother. I know a little about hero worship, after all I'm the one who met a   
  
prince and decided to become one, but sometimes the way she acts   
  
toward her brother is a little TOO friendly.  
  
Speaking of Touga. There are not any words I can think of that   
  
would be suitable to use for him. Everyone says he's a prince. Those   
  
people clearly don't know him very well. Sure he acts like that in public,   
  
but behind those charming looks and Chivalrous acts is a dirty, ugly   
  
soul. How do I know? I've dueled him. He knew I what I was seeking.   
  
He'd seen me all those years ago hiding in the coffin in the church. He   
  
remembered all I said. He took that and used it to claim to be my prince.   
  
He beat me in battle and through that almost broke my spirit. It was   
  
Wakaba who reminded me who I was. Once she did that I went into battle   
  
again. I had to take back what he took from me. Not Anthy, though I did   
  
miss her greatly, but my who I am.  
  
Now here I sit. Writing in my journal while sitting in my bed.   
  
Anthy's gone missing again. Most likely off visiting with her brother. We   
  
just moved in here a while ago. Since we've moved in things have started   
  
getting weird. It started with Touga getting depressed. Then Saionji, who'd   
  
just got back from being expelled goes nuts. How could I tell he went   
  
nuts? He was ranting about having seen the world as it. Then Miki   
  
suddenly decided he wanted to duel me for Anthy again. I think he's been   
  
made to see the End of the World too.  
  
I'd love to know who End of the World is. Whoever he or she is   
  
seems content to hide in the shadows and string the student council along   
  
with his or her letters. Whoever it is, never anticipated me. I don't fit their   
  
plan. That's why they keep sending Duelists against me.   
  
But now they're in for a surprise.As of late Anthy's started showing   
  
more personality a will of her own. She and I are a team of sorts. But I still   
  
have in me the doubt. I still want to see. I want to know. I have to be one   
  
hundred percent sure that there's something eternal. Maybe then I, Utena   
  
Tenjo, can find my absolute destiny. 


End file.
